You may find this hard to believe, but I used to be a relative shy and insecure woman. I didn’t feel much self-worth and it showed across my life. I think it hurt me both professionally and personally. The world is attracted to those that are self-assured. Who would you hire if you had two candidates for a job? The one that convinced you they can do what you need done, or the one that shyly hid behind their resume and “thinks” they may be qualified. You’d pick the self-confident one, as would most. That’s why it’s so important to work on confidence.

I have a simple little hack for you that can turn you from a hesitant and apprehensive person into someone who’s collected, composed and at ease in any situation. Are you ready? Here it is:

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

It’s not a joke. It’s a life hack that works over and over again. Think about confident women around you. How do they act? How do they walk and talk? Get curious and pay careful attention to the confident people around you. Study them.  

The trick is to start acting more confident, especially when you’re not feeling it. Walk up to a person, shake their hand and look them straight in the eye as you introduce yourself. In other words, start faking it when you’re not feeling particularly confident.

Watch your confident friends, acquaintances, colleagues, or even your boss and then emulate what they do that makes them seem confident. Get in the habit of acting confident, even if you don’t feel it. If you catch yourself slouching, casting your eyes down or thinking that you aren’t good enough, stop in your tracks and step forward in a confident manner in front of others and yourself.

Before you know it something interesting happens. You’re doing things you never thought you could, you’re striking up conversations, you’re asking to be put on big projects and things are going well. Each little success will build up your confidence and before you know it you don’t have to fake it anymore. You are becoming a more and more confident person.

Here’s your assignment for the next few days:

Act like the CONFIDENT QUEEN that you are, at least once per day. It helps to think about your day ahead of time and the types of situations you may face. Go over them in your head and visualize how the “confident you” would react. This will help you “play your part” when the time comes. Over time you’ll be able to do this more spontaneously. Keep working on it and start acting confident more often.

Post back with your successes. And remember, in this game, every attempt IS a success.

Rock on Queens, rock on!